40 candles to burn.

Think of this as my birthday wish. A list of 40 things I hope I’ve learned by now and some that just make milk shoot out of my nose.

I like to collect little truths. Odd sayings. And cruel little twists of phrase. Below are 40 things in 40 posts that I’ve trusted over the years to shine a little light and make a little sense of it all.

Just watch out for the hot wax. That stuff hurts.

40. Lists are inherently flawed.

Lists are inherently flawed. They’re bound by a linear constraint. Feel free to read this list out of order. It’s 40 things I know after 40 years. Some of which I rely on just to get by on a daily basis. Others I made up to help cope with being 40. And 1 of them is a straight up lie.

As of this moment, I’m feeling pretty good about turning 40.

And I hope this list is proof, I’ve learned a couple of things along the way.

I’d love to hear what you think.

39. Lead with timing.

Lead with timing. When you start with an understanding of timing, everything else makes more sense. It will take you about 4 and 1/2 minutes to read this list. 1 minute to skim it and just read the top 10. And it will take me a lifetime to get it all right.

38. I can’t write my way out of every problem, but I can sure try.

I can’t write my way out of every problem, but I can sure try. Writing helps me see. I’m not sure physiologically how vision and writing are connected, but I know they are.

37. This is all my fault.

This is all my fault. And I want the responsibility. Own the blame and everything gets better. I love taking the blame. It’s very powerful.

36. Learn a paying life skill or a trade.

Learn a paying life skill or a trade. I can type over 100 words per minute, so I can always be an office temp, no matter how bad things get.

35. Walk away.

Walk away. Walk really far away. And you’ll love it when you get back. I walked away to find my way, and away in the ways of life I found a way to make my way home.

34. Walter Payton.

Walter Payton. I know, I know I’m a soccer guy. But Sweetness was more than an athlete. He was the ultimate in perseverance and sportsmanship. He taught us all how to behave on and off the field.

33. It’s always “show time”.

It’s always “show time”. There is no such thing as half an idea or half advice or half an effort. Always bring your best, even if you’re “not feeling it today,” even if you were told it was just a quick “get together,” even if your were invited last minute. Don’t fall for the trap that you can half show up.

32. No project is beneath me.

No project is beneath me. This might actually be my signature work style. Bring me the worst projects to work on. I’ll make it better. I love the ugly kids.

31. Share early. Share often.

Share early. Share often. If you want to learn something, share something. People will have something to respond to. The earlier you spit it out, the more time you have to refine and make it better.

30. I really shouldn’t need a list.

I really shouldn’t need a list to remember all this stuff, but it feels really good to write it down and look back over it. And if we’re getting all honest here, I write a ton of lists.

29. Don’t fear persistence.

Don’t fear persistence. There is an old Calvin Coolidge quote about persistence that you can buy as a plaque at any Knick Knack store. “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.” It might be a bummer, but it’s ridiculously true. Pushing a rock up a hill takes lots of practice.

28. Put your energy where no one else is.

Put your energy where no one else is. Place your creativity into the wide open spaces and eventually it will fill all the spaces.

27. A keyboard is a dangerous thing.

A keyboard is a dangerous thing. It has all 26 letters of the alphabet on it. And oftentimes, easy access to a “send” button. Approach with caution.

26. Collect something.

Collect something. I’ve tried collecting pez dispensers, lunch boxes, ticket stubs and old advertisements at various times in my life. Of course someone will have a better collection than you, but you’ll learn a lot about yourself with a good collection.

25. I’d rather have had an idea and lost it, than never had that idea in the first place.

24. Write while reading. Read while writing.

Write while reading. Read while writing. Read with a pen in your hand. Write with a book in your hand. That’s what margins are for – collisions of thought.

23. If you’re not making it better, then leave.

If you’re not making it better, then leave. We are all participants here. If you don’t want to participate, just split.

22. Giving others advice to “just let it go” doesn’t ring as true when you can’t do it for yourself.

Giving others advice to “just let it go” doesn’t ring as true when you can’t do it for yourself.

21. Keep the walls down.

Keep the walls down. You have to put yourself out there. Building yourself a shelter and putting up walls doesn’t prevent you from being exposed.

20. Fail like you mean it.

Fail like you mean it. This is my little variation on one of my favorites, “Fail better.” from Samuel Becket. If you have good intent, then failure is just a necessary step on your way to success. Embrace failure.

19. Baseball needs to grow up and go global.

Baseball needs to grow up and go global. Take a cue from the UEFA Champions League. A Global Interleague Club Competition in baseball will change the world as we know it. Not this exhibition crap. Real club teams with real games around the globe will save us all. And I’m not the first to say it, but MLB needs “relegation.” Look it up.

18. Love your trash can.

Love your trash can. Let it go. I know, most of you are laughing at me on this one, but I swear I actually do throw away a lot of stuff. And I’m committed to working on improving in this area so I don’t end up on hoarders some day.

17. A great Thai soup will cure anything.

A great Thai soup will cure anything. I don’t know exactly how they make it, but the Thai own flavor. Yum.

16. It’s OK to shift voice.

It’s OK to shift voice and tense all over the place if you made the list for yourself and that’s how you want it.

15. Math is not hard. Art is hard.

Math is not hard. Art is hard. Please don’t tell people you think math is hard. It is the most boring whine on the planet. Art is unbelievably hard by comparison. It’s the pursuit of the unknown versus the understanding of the known. And for you true mathematicians out there who might be angered by this, I would offer, what you do is actually art.

14. Try running full speed down an office hallway.

Try running full speed down an office hallway. The embarrassment is liberating.

13. I love scary ideas.

I love the scary ideas. Not the horror kind. But the ones that make me the most nervous to talk about. The ones that make people squirm to share. Those are the ideas I hope to guide to success. And I’m not afraid of 13s. OK, maybe a little bit.

12. Mischief is like medicine.

Mischief is like medicine. It’s uncomfortable at first and then you feel great after. Practice safe mischief.

11. The real problem with having ideas is making them come true.

The real problem with having ideas is making them come true. That’s where the real hard work comes in to play. It takes far more energy and initiative to make an idea come true, than to have an idea in the first place. Don’t be afraid to get dirty along the way.

10. Right now is usually the best time to try something new.

Right now is usually the best time to try something new. Now.

9. Water yourself.

Water yourself. And stay hydrated. As easy as it is to say our bodies are 70% water, it’s ridiculously hard to remember to water ourselves. Imagine you’re a very thirsty plant. Being hydrated is linked to all kinds of incredible health benefits. Water yourself.

8. 2 ears. 1 mouth.

2 ears. 1 mouth. That’s almost the right proportion of listening to talking. Listening is a gift. Kneel down to listen to kids. Listen close. Listen long. Don’t wander from a good listen. There will be plenty of time for talking.

7. Shouldn’t shouldn’t stop you.

Shouldn’t shouldn’t stop you. (Well, not every time.) This goes along with the idea that when it comes to doing something entirely new, you won’t get far asking people IF you can do it. They’ll usually take the easy route and say no. You need to ask people HOW can I do it. They will be inclined to want to help you find a way to make it happen.

6. Happiness is a conscious choice.

Happiness is a conscious choice. If you practice hard enough, you can choose your mood. Decide to be happy. That’s the triumph of free will.

5. “You can have as much paper as you want.”

“You can have as much paper as you want.” I know that’s not very environmental, but that’s not really the point. It was something my mom said to me when I was a kid and tried to get out of doing work, because I was out of paper. These days it means to me, I can always come up with another idea. I can always do better. I can always move on. I can always have more paper to write on.

4. There is no such thing as usually.

There is no such thing as usually. People often ask me in my work, “how do you usually do it?” And the answer is there is no usually if we want to discover something new. Every project requires a new route.

3. Curiosity is the most powerful force on the planet.

Curiosity is the most powerful force on the planet. OK, after love. But love is obvious – See #2. Ask and you shall receive. Ask again. Be persistently curious – See #29. Ask a better question. Asking keeps the door open. Asking keeps the conversation alive. Ask me, ask me, ask me. That’s what it says on a person’s face who cares about you.

2. Love.

Love. No matter what god you choose, for me it comes down to this:  god is love is god is love is the example of love we demonstrate to our children and those around us. Show don’t tell.

1. Kindness is all.

Kindness is all. If love is the most powerful force then kindness is the only thing that matters. Most people won’t remember a single thing off this list. But they will remember how it made them feel. And that’s my definition of kindness – how I made you feel.